Vatican Issues Emergency Reversal on Birth Control

ROME - In a shocking reversal of a 2,000 year policy, the Vatican today announced that it was temporarily lifting its ban on contraceptives, at least in the United States. According to one Vatican insider, the Pope has great sympathy for the American people who are suffering during the economic downturn. After looking over the details of the Democrat-led stimulus package, it became clear that taxpayers were simply getting screwed by their government. With images of Nancy Pelosi leading the way, the Holy Father shuddered and admitted that everyone should be free to use as much protection as possible.