Letter from the Cafeteria

Dear God,

Since down here we are finishing up our penances and renunciations of sins past, I thought that I would check in and make sure that You are not a do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do sort of guy. To wit, I have decided that it is important that You rethink your whole opposition to homosexuality. And by "rethink" I mean, of course, that you renounce your old thoughts and adopt mine. (I'll leave it to Your own judgment what type of penance you should do for Your sins.)

We British are simply more liberal minded that You. We are young and full of sap while you are the Ancient of Days. No wonder "there is a huge generational difference" about this.

I'm not saying that You, Yourself, should go and get buggered. But since your vicars are now tripping all over themselves to embrace evolution, I think that "we need an attitude of mind where rethinking and the concept of evolving attitudes becomes part of the discipline with which you approach your religious faith."

Since evolution is necessary, and we British have already evolved, it is time for You to do so, too. You might think that, neophyte that I am, I just haven't quite grasped this whole "infallible truth" business that I claimed to accept when I joined Your Church. On the contrary, let me assure you that I absolutely accept every single one of Your teachings as infallibly true when it is in accord with my own enlightened opinions.

That's it for now (though I'll soon be sending you a list of other things needing rethinking). Give your Boy and His Mother a kiss for me.

Cheerio,
-Tony