Thinking about the President's first press conference tonight, we couldn't help but recall another important face-to-face with an all-knowing leader. Not, we fear, that we should expect the ultimate honesty of the original!
On calm and hopeful leadership in the face of pending economic "catastrophe":
"Frightened? You are talking to a man who has laughed in the face of death -- sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe. ... I was petrified."
On fighting our enemies:
"As for you my fine friend, you are a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger you have no courage! You are confusing courage with wisdom.
What the press conference would look like if the audience were only made up of the likes of Fox, NRO, The Washington Times, The Weekly Standard, and Politico:
PRESIDENT: Do not arouse the wrath of the Great and Powerful O! I said come back tomorrow!
FOX: If you were really great and powerful, you'd keep your promises!
PRESIDENT: Do you presume to criticize the Great O? You ungrateful creatures! Think yourselves lucky that I'm giving you an audience tomorrow, instead of twenty years from now! Oh! The Great O has spoken! Oh! Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. The Great, Powerful -- has spoken --
FOX: Who are you?
PRESIDENT: Well, I - I - I am the Great and Powerful - Wizard of O.
FOX: You are?
PRESIDENT: Uh -
FOX: I don't believe you!
PRESIDENT: No, I'm afraid it's true. There's no other Wizard except me.
NRO: You Humbug!
POLITICO: Yeah!
PRESIDENT: Yes - that's exactly so - I'm a humbug.
FOX: Oh - you're a very bad man!
PRESIDENT: Oh, no, my dear. I - I'm a very good man. I'm just a very bad Wizard.
On consulting with his Cabinet and economic advisors, should he be able to find a few taxpayers:
"This is positively the finest exhibition ever to be shown.....well, be that as it may. I, your Wizard, par adua outer, am about to embark on a hazardous and technically unexplainable journey into the outer stratosphere. To confer, converse and otherwise hob-nob with my brother wizards."
On what to anticipate if the President gets his stimulus balloon from Congress:
PRESIDENT: This is a highly irregular procedure! This is absolutely unprecedented!
VOTERS: Oh! Help me! The balloon's going up!
PRESIDENT: -- Ruined my exit!
VOTERS: Help!
TAX-PAYERS: Oh! Come back! Don't go without me! Please come back!
PRESIDENT: I can't come back! I don't know how it works!
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